DON’T LOOK AT ME, I’M A TROLL.
Today I feel like a troll. I haven’t showered, I have onion breath, and my hair is straight out of the “Thriller” music video. You might wonder what on earth has gone wrong on this perfectly good Monday. Nothing, I’m just working from home.
If you rocked up to my doorstep right now, I would most likely hide in a corner of the house not visible from the outside. I’d let ‘the little brown side’ howl away until you gave up in retreat. Although you may be confident in your unconditional feelings toward me, I am not! I believe if you saw me right now, you might never be my friend again. I’m like the princess in “Shrek” who turns into an ogre behind doors when it’s dark (only it is simply lovely outside and the middle of a business day.)
I bet you have experienced ‘troll-dom’ once or twice though, haven’t you? (Please say yes, or I’m really going to feel bad.) And, like me, I bet you’ve discovered some great remedies to calm troll-like symptoms. Here’s my list:
2.) Open a tube of mascara (or lipgloss) and apply.
3.) Try a 20-minute cardio routine.
4.) Step outside yourself and donate your time to a service project or otherwise worthy cause.
5.) If all of the above seem like mount kilimanjaro, try a hoodie.
You may think I’m crazy, but my attachment to head-coverings goes way back. Take, for example, me as a six year old girl. There is a day I clearly remember where I sat in the back seat of my mom’s car with a burlap bag over my head. (I snicker at myself as I look back on this, but clearly this cantankerous, miniature human is still a part of me!) We had stopped to drop something off at a neighbor’s house and they had this gorgeous german shepherd I was dying to get my hands on. The dog, I thought, would love a big hug from a stick-figured, six year old girl, but mom disagreed. Being the strange and dramatic child I was (two great qualities of a creative soul,) I became so outraged that I grabbed her bag of shoes from the car floor, flung them out all over the back seat and whipped that bag right over my head. There I sat, fuming and festering in my own darkness – a bag that smelled like feet.
I really do suggest trying options 1 – 4 as I’m realizing now that clearly the stinky bag routine didn’t do much. A hoodie only serves as a great place to hide and a nice place to stay warm, but alas, if you’ve got one handy – try it on for size until you make it to the shower or that tube of mascara – or both!
(photo credit: RW Jones Photography)