I am enough.

I slid into yoga class five minutes late on Saturday morning.  I’m usually catching everything last minute – the bus, the train, finishing up the job right before it’s due, but I usually make it to my mat on time.  I’ve had a crazy couple weeks and it’s only the beginning.  Every past, present and future design client has a sudden need for my time.  They have multiple projects, rush jobs, high profile concerns and personal attachments – and I am scrambling!  I need an assistant.  I have post it notes piling up with numbers to call, invoices to send and quotes to generate.  My sketchbook sits next to me with pages of notes and ideas on various jobs.  Meanwhile I’ve got auditions lining up, a few doctor’s appointments, a dog to walk, a fridge to fill, volunteer commitments to keep and I’m tired.  I’m tired and I don’t even have kids yet!  I know there are women out there more super than me, and someday I’ll share my experience with you as I realize I don’t even understand the word tired.  {A big shout out to my older sister who just gave birth to her fourth beautiful baby, Elsie Stella Greer!}

As I quietly chucked my keys and sunglasses to the side of the yoga studio (how quietly can you chuck something? – let’s say I placed my keys and sunglasses…) I scanned the now heavily populated room for a piece of floor with space enough for my mat.  I quickly staked my claim before the other stragglers could take it (those rude, inconsiderate people who come in all frantic and ruin everybody’s zen – yes, that was me.)  Rolling out my mat, I peeled off my socks and nonchalantly assumed my sitting position.  “Deep breath,” the teacher calmly said.  “As you inhale notice the thoughts present in your mind…as you exhale release those thoughts…focus on your breath and just be with yourself in this space and time…”  I noticed the thoughts alright.  They were colored bright orange and electric blue, the color of my post it notes.  “Exhale…”  the colored papers fell away one by one as if from the gray-matter branches of my brain-tree.  (Now there’s a mental picture ;))

About five breaths in (exactly the number of minutes I was late) I noticed a calm throughout my body and felt these words resonate through me: “I am enough.”

Let me say it again,  “I am enough.”

I’ve held onto that phrase since Saturday and am clinging to it through these blocks of time allotted to ‘this’ and ‘that.’

I am enough.

So often in relationships we feel we are not enough.  Maybe at our job there are moments we feel this way?  Certainly within the creative arts profession this is a most creeping emotion.  We think, “I should try harder, do more, accomplish more.”  We create if, then scenarios in our minds – recipes for what we think will create the outcome we desire.  If I take this class, do this project, then I’ll advance in my career.  Yes, it will help but there’s no need to freak out about time lines and ideas you’ve got set up in your head (as if everyone is watching, waiting for you to fail.)  Let me say this one thing (or maybe two.)  First off, everyone else is most likely consumed with their own ‘if-thens’ to be concerned with your secret life time line.  Secondly, if someone is interested in your growth as an individual – it’s most likely because they care and want you to be happy; no one is waiting for you to fail.  Oh, and thirdly, check out this scripture – someone else has already got you well taken care of.  So much so that there’s really no need to get all stressed out in the first place…

I’ve always loved this scripture in Matthew, chapter six of the New Testament.  Please excuse me as I hop around a bit:  “Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin…Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which today is and tomorrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?  ..Take ye therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself.”

I think we all need to be one-day-at-a-timers.  Even sometimes one-minute-at-a-timers.  And in each minute of each hour of each day know that we are enough.  Even know that this minute is enough, this day is enough.

You’re in good hands, and I’m not talking about All State (although I think you’re great, Dennis Haysbert.)  I always have a song in my head and here’s this morning’s tune: “He’s got you and me baby, in his hands…he’s got the whole world in his hands.”

Have a great day!  (Because today is enough, and what? – you are enough!)

xo

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About Makie

MAKIEmusic.com ↞ indie musix person, creator of things, closet cowgirl & earthchild, here @NativeGypsies. Fav life essentials: trust + love. ↠ Read About MakieRead more posts by Makie

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