Have you ever thought about what it means to see someone, truly?
Have you ever wished to be understood – completely?
We live in a society of “Next”. A swipe generation that can instantly ‘like’ and move on without consequence. We have so many options vying for our attention. It’s a world of fast-food-speed-dating, 10-day-diets, and weight-loss plans with cheating days built in! Methods are commonly contrived with patched-up fads held together by band-aids and glue, having little to do with actual wellness and self-care. We indulge in fleeting-fancies and partake in impulsive makeovers that last as long as those stupid, bogo, shoes you got at an additional 50% off. You know the shoes…
The impractical pair you rarely wear because they give you blisters and don’t fit. Of course, they were cheap and cuuuute, but you’ll never depend on them for an important event – because you know they won’t support you through the whole thing. These are not your shoes for life. They will inevitably leave you with empty feet. Barefoot and bleeding, you’ll decidedly discard them for something more productive down the road. That’s the real price of gimme, grabby, colorful plastic shoes! You can have a pair in every color if that’s your thing, but they won’t last, sustain, and comfort you like real, leather, shoes could. Hand-crafted, quality soles (or souls?) require an investment.
Here’s my question: do we want pre-molded, mass-produced, carbon-copied cheapos? Or something with substance, that will stand the test of time, weather through the seasons, and increase in value.
Smell what I’m stepping in? 😛 (You know I’m not really talking about shoes, right?) Good. Let’s talk about people.
I propose a change.
Stop. Take time. Breathe. Make better choices.
QUALITY relationships take patience & investment for benefit, and commitment & care for gratification. Happiness never goes out of style.
So, how do we avoid getting conned or caught up in the whirl-wind of options? How do we prevent spinning heads and numb hearts – tasting and partaking of hollow fillers that eventually feel like we’ve had an overload on hallo-ween candy? There’s rarely disappointment in its promise for momentary fun, but I don’t know about you – I’m hungry for a real meal, and the real deal. Puppies and kitties are cute, but let’s get to know each other, too!
It’s time to see with new eyes.
A couple days ago I sat-in on a grant review of an application I submitted to an arts foundation. The panel invites applicants to be present for the discussion of each submission, but the applicant is not allowed to say anything during the review. I haven’t been that frustrated in quite some time… To say I was disappointed in the process is an understatement. Clearly, none of the panelists were given the applications ahead of time to read, review, and research each artist. Instead, it seemed their only chance to read my grant request was during the projection of my sample work on the big screen, for approximately 4 minutes. Neither could they watch the video in full, nor could they read the entire application. Last I checked, humans can’t really multi-task.
With split-focus and not enough time, they completely misunderstood the entire application. And there I sat – unable to correct them as they questioned things that were clearly written and explained in the submission. Had the process allowed for panelists to review each application with time and care, I would’ve felt better understood. Also, why not interview each applicant for 3-5 minutes? It’s just a thought, but an organization that seeks to “gives voice” to artists, might just as well let the person SPEAK!
It was kind-of an illustration of life in general. Who cares? Who takes time to get to know, understand, and truly see each other? How often are we judged too quickly, and left feeling like, “Hey, there is SO MUCH MORE to me!” It happens all the time. And we unwittingly do it to others on a consistent basis as well. How sucky.
Maybe we slow down, and change things…
Open Your Eyes
Be aware of when you’re judging others too quickly. Be patient with them. Take time.
If you want to be understood and loved, start by getting real with yourself first. (Check out 9 ideas for making a home within yourself.) Only once we are in-tune with ourselves, are we able to have authentic relationships with others. Otherwise, even if someone wants to take the time and make the effort to understand & love your truth, they will have a challenge making it past your emotional walls.
The closest people in our lives are often mirrors for us. We see things in them that bring up our own fears. There is purpose in the mirror-effect, so let it work for you. Accept the gift of what you see in your reflection and use it to heal your hurt & grow stronger. Then, (THIS IS IMPORTANT) look beyond your reflection to truly see the other person. They are awesome. They are probably just as flawed, and just as wonderfully deep, expansive, dorky, hilarious, and bright as you.
See With New Eyes: (Look Beyond 2.0)
If seeing is one of the five, basic senses, I’d venture to say that “seeing with new eyes” or “spiritual eyes” is the sixth. Get in touch with your intuition and go beyond your physical experiences. If you want to connect, this is how we can come to know and experience each others’ potential and pure truth. Use your sixth sense, your new, spiritual eyes, to experience life and relationships at a much more profound level. Slow down and navigate with a more comprehensive compass. There is an expansive Universe, and workings of life beyond what we can physically see and logically compute. Sharpen your “vision” and intuition with meditation, prayer, and other, energy and faith strengthening exercises. If anything – know that you know what you already know.
We all have this “knowing” inside of us. If you can manage to put a muzzle on your ego-mind and fear-based emotions, and stop second-guessing yourself – I think we’d all be better off, and make better choices. Perhaps we would see each other more clearly, and be truthful with each other. (We might even take the time to invest in quality soles/souls!) Sounds lovely to me. No more separation and hiding behind digital devices. Let’s connect!
(I see you 😉 .)