A Numbers Game

I just turned 30.  I must admit I second guessed admitting this!  I had a little bit of a freak-out session.  Not so much on my birthday, but more so this entire last year.  This impending zero was a real kick in the you-know-what, a true motivator to get over some fears and really go for it.  And I did, thank-goodness.  But I was told somewhere down the line to never say your true age even if you’ve really earned it.  (That would be called “Show Business 101.”)  So, yes, you got me… I’m really only 26.

That sounds reasonable doesn’t it?  Old enough to know a little something, yet young enough to…

Well, young enough to what?

When I was 26 I understudied a beautiful, well-established, leading lady in an Off Broadway play.  I never went on stage even after she left because truth be told, I needed to be 36 to play that part.

What has ‘young enough’ ever gotten us anyway?  The allowance to make mistakes?  We can do that at 60!  Young enough to try something new?  We can do that anytime too.  I’m not sure why we get so worked up over numbers.

I used to feel like an old soul.  A fuddy duddy in my teenage years.  But as I grow ‘wiser’ year by year, emotionally I feel like Benjamin Button.  I probably seem more and more irresponsible and brainless to lookers-on, but for some reason I feel more energetic and fiery every time a turn a digit.

I’m like a closet crazy, a kid with her whole hand wrapped around one big crayon and tap shoes on her feet and wild fuzzy hair tied up in millions of pig tails.  My world is my coloring sheet.

Am I where I thought I would be at 30?  Well, I’m not a planner and for that I have no preconceived notion of what 30 should look like and feel l like.

Should I be surrounded by more things that I own?  Should I have more letters attached to my name?  Kids?  I thought I would have kids.

But I’m here and I’m feeling like I should live to be 200 and remain of child bearing years until I’m 75.  There’s so much to do and so much to try and so much to see…

And when it comes right down to it there’s so much to be and for that I’ll just continue to be – me.

Simple and complex, passionate and content, peasant/urban dweller, a little bit strange, and hungry for life.

So I say, “Bring it on!”

As I look back on this past year and prepare for a new year ahead, I’m pleased.  I feel right on track.

So here’s to a new year whether you just turned a digit like me or are staring into your 2015 calendars, bare with possibilities.  I hope we all can steal away a couple hours to ourselves and do the following:

  1. Look back long enough to
    • Learn from our experiences
    • Celebrate small moments of success
    • Get motivated to make some changes
  2. Sit still long enough to
    • Listen for answers
    • Be true to our innermost selves
    • Trust in the moment
  3. Look forward to
    • Plan for success (whatever that means to us)
    • Dream the impossible dream
    • Live everyday to its fullest

Mazel tov my friends!




About Makie

MAKIEmusic.com ↞ Maker of Indie/Folk Music & Art. Lover of horses, farm & natural living. Earth child here @NativeGypsies. Living the SoCal Beach-Life & Midwest Farm-Life. ↠ Meet MakieStories by Makie

4 comments on “A Numbers Game

  1. Joann
    December 28, 2014 at 4:34 am

    Well, Makenzie, because you are araound the same age as my daughter (my YOUNGEST! child), I naturally feel that you are still a ‘kid’. But, seriously, one thing I have learned as I’ve grown ‘older’ (like the song says, ‘not old, just older’) is that whenever you try to act ‘your age’ you usually end up acting older than you need to. Then, when you get older and look back, you realize just how young you were! Don’t let those numbers limit you!

  2. Jason
    December 28, 2014 at 4:21 pm

    For some reason, mentally, I still always feel 22. I think, from what I hear, that kinda sticks for everyone. And seeing how being ‘older’ is growing increasingly ‘younger’ it’s pretty cool we are lucky enough to live in a time when our lives can grow longer and healthier than ever before…

  3. nothingproud
    December 31, 2014 at 3:15 pm

    Mackenzie, with your positive attitude toward work and life the odds are heavily in your favor to stay forever young.

  4. Shelly, the Prairie Chick
    January 2, 2015 at 4:28 pm

    You still have a lot of living to do kid! You will find that your 30′s are a fun, and productive time in your life. Enjoy every minute of it! Truth be told – as I get older I have to stop and think how old I really am because I forget, and it does not matter so much anymore as long as I am healthy, happy and productive. So here’s wishing you joy, peace, love, health, happiness,productivity,and anything else you desire in the coming years. Happy birthday,sweetheart:)

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